Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
