Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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