So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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