apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
