If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
