ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
