She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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