lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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