Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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