I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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