I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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