i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
