How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
