Don't make out with my wife yet
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
