At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
