Have you finally orgasmed yet?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
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no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
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If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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