So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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