he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
