You're so nebulous sometimes
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
