He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
