are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
