I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
