you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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