Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
