You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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