No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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