How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
