i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
