If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Let's paint friendship bongs
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
