so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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