Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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