I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
