You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
