whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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