Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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