Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
wow bdsm is so cute
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
