Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
