Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
