so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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