He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
