apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
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Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
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We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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