Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
