bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
