I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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