so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
