i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
love makes seman taste better
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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