420 ftw
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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