You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
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I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
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I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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