Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I look better un-naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize