Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
