She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize