here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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