I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
