I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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