guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
