Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
