You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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