Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
