You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
