I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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