All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
