just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Randomize
